1. I have loved you (verse 12).
2. I lay down my life for you (verse 13).
3. You do what I command (verse 14).
4. I have told you everything (verse 15).
5. I chose you (verse 16).
6. So, love one another (verse 17).

In this world of social media, where we are more connected than ever, it seems as if more and more people feel more alone than ever. People with thousands of followers, have very few genuine friends. We ache for friends.

The Proverbs tell us of the importance of friends. The friends that you choose will affect your future. "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." (Proverbs 13:20). If you surround yourself with wise people, their wisdom will rub off and you, and you will be wise yourself. But if you are a friend of fools, you will suffer harm as they do.

Proverbs also tell us about the nature of true friends. They aren’t mere companions, but a true friend is closer than family members. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). Picture the popular guy who has lots of companions, it may well turn out that they are fair-weather friends. that is, friends who are around only when the getting’s good. But there is one of those friends, who is like family to him. When life gets hard, he steps up and in, while others step away. It’s difficult to be such a friend. I have failed many times.

Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Friends come and go, but family doesn’t. And there are friends who are like family, who love, not because of convenience or common interests or benefits to the relationship, but because of deep loyalty.

Because there is something about friend who loves. He tells the truth. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:6). The friend doesn’t flatter his friend. He speaks the truth, even when the truth hurts. The friend will correct you in love. That’s why Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Friendship is about growth and usefulness. A true friend won’t leave us dull, but will shape us and sharpen us.

In this day of connected social media, we need genuine friends. Well, this morning, as we come to the Scriptures, we are going to talk about friends, because Jesus speaks about his friends. So, I invite you to open in your Bibles to John, chapter 15. Our text begins in verse 12. We are going to work our way through verse 17.

These words come deep into a conversation that Jesus has been having with his disciples in John 13-17. In chapter 13, Jesus has informed them that he is leaving, and that one of the disciples will betray him (John 13:21), and that one of the disciples will deny him (John 13:38). In chapter 14, Jesus tells the disciples not to be troubled, because Jesus will come again, and bring the disciples to be with him.

Now, in chapter 15, Jesus is telling his disciples how to live and bear fruit, by abiding in the vine. Jesus said, "I am the true vine" (John 15:1). Jesus then applies this picture of agriculture. He says, "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me" (John 15:4). Jesus says, “In order to bear fruit, you must abide in me. Because I’m the source of your life and your strength, just like any fruit in any branch. You take away the vine, and the leaves will perish. He says the same thing in verse 5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).  We would do well to let that sink deep into our hearts: "Apart from me you can do nothing."

The good news is this: Jesus doesn’t forsake his disciples. Instead, he says that he is their friend, who will stick closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). So, let’s read what Jesus says (beginning in verse 12),

John 15:12-17
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

The title of my message this morning comes straight from the words of Jesus in verse 14, “You Are My Friends.”

What an amazing thing that Jesus calls his disciples, “friends.” This is the God of the universe, who comes to earth and makes friends with us! There is a classic chorus from the 1980’s written by Martin Nystrom which begins like this:

One of the stanzas of the song has these words:

This is what we see Jesus saying in these verses to his disciples. Yes, he is their leader and their master and the Lord of the universe. But he also calls them his friends.

This should come as a bit of a shock. When we think of God, we rightly think of him as the high and exalted holy one! We think of the one who has all authority, before whose throne we approach with trembling and fear. We think of the one to whom we bow in worship and the one whom we serve. And yet, here Jesus says, "No longer do I call you servants, I have called you friends" (John 15:15).

When you search the Old Testament, there was only one person who was called a friend of God. Do you know who that was? Abraham. In Isaiah 41:8, the LORD is addressing the people of Israel. He says,

Isaiah 41:8
You, Israel, my servant,
    Jacob, whom I have chosen,
    the offspring of Abraham, my friend."

This is the only time in all of the Old Testament, that God called anyone his “friend.” The LORD continues on to describe his faithfulness to Abraham and his descendants, He said,

Isaiah 41:9-10
You whom I took from the ends of the earth,
    and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
    I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

In the broadest sense, this is exactly what Jesus is telling his disciples. “You are my friend. I have chosen you. I will be faithful to you. I will uphold you.”

My outline this morning is a bit like my outline last week, I’m going to pull out the core message of each verse, as Jesus tells his disciples, “You are my friends.” Here’s my first point:

1. I have loved you (verse 12).

John 15:12
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

The main point of application in the verse is the exhortation from Jesus that we love one another. It seems like Jesus has said this often in the Upper Room discourse. In chapter 13, Jesus said to his disciples, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another" (John 13:34). That’s exactly the message that Jesus say here. "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."

We are to love “just as” Jesus loved us. What a high calling! What an impossible calling, apart from the working of God in our lives. Indeed, that’s what we looked at last week. "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love" (John 15:9). The only way that we will ever love as Jesus loved is if we get the love of Jesus in us! We do that by abiding in him and in his love! This is the only way that we can love as Jesus loved.

But for my point this morning, I want to reflect upon the words of Jesus, "I have loved you."

This is the very first statement of how John begins the Upper Room Discourse. He writes, "Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end" (John 13:1). This a summary of the love of Jesus to the disciples. He loved them perfectly. He loved them completely, to the end. He showed his love in the upper room by washing the feet of his disciples, stooping to do the humbling task. That’s what love does. That’s what Jesus did.

Now, when you survey the gospel of John, you see Jesus loving those all around him. In John 2, we read of how Jesus loved the people at the wedding feast, enough to turn the water into wine. In John 3, we read of how Jesus loved Nicodemus, enough to take the time to talk with him about the heart of the gospel, the new birth. In John 4, we read of how Jesus loved the woman at the well, enough to engage her in conversation, and offer her the living water that would satisfy all of her longings. In the miracles of healing (John 4, 5, 9), we read of how Jesus loved the sick and the lame and the blind, enough to restore them all to health.

In the account of raising Lazarus from the dead, John gives us some explicit statements of his love, "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus" (John 11:5). But as you read the gospel of John, we don’t have many explicit statements (or actions) like this of his love for the disciples. Now, knowing the life of Jesus, it’s not that he didn’t love the disciple. For surely he did. And surely his love for his disciples far exceeded his love for the sick and the hurting, who were strangers to him.

How much more did Jesus love those who were close to him! John just doesn’t give us the details, other than the summary statement, "he loved them to the end" (John 13:1). In fact, “the end” is where Jesus demonstrated his greatest love for his disciples. We see this in verse 13, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."

Here’s my second observation from the text. Jesus says to his friends, 

2. I lay down my life for you (verse 13).

In coming months in our exposition of the gospel of John, we will see Jesus doing this. We will see Jesus go to the cross and “lay down his life for his friends.” Catch what Jesus is saying here: Jesus will die “for his friends.” That is, “in their place,” “instead of them.” Jesus will die as a substitute for his friends.

This is the core of the gospel: substitution. Jesus dying in our place. Jesus dying for us. Jesus dying, so that we might live.

When the Old Testament saint sinned, he brought an animal to the priest, who would kill the animal as a punishment for sin, and burn the hide on the altar, to represent the death needed to satisfy the justice of God. And so Jesus became our sacrificial animal. John the Baptist said as much: “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29). He takes our sin, by becoming our sin-substituting sacrifice.

The hymn-writer says it well, 

This is how we are to receive such words! “Hallelujah, what a Savior!”

Notice what verse 13 says about the love of Jesus in laying down his life: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." The greatest sacrifice shows the greatest love.

When the father sees the child in the street, about to be hit by the car, The love of the father will compel him to run and push the child out of the way, only to be hit by the car, himself. When the soldiers are in a combat zone, and the grenade lands in the middle of the unit, The love of the soldier for his friends will compel him to throw himself on the grenade, absorbing the blast to save others in his unit. This is what Jesus did. It was his love that drove him to the cross to die in our place.

In Romans 5, Paul uses this same imagery. "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Romans. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:6-8).

This is what makes the gospel so lovely. it’s that the sacrificial love of Jesus comes not from the worthiness of those being died for. Because, the reality is this: we all are sinners! None of us deserve the death of Jesus applied to our sin. Yet, Jesus, in his grace, dies for the undeserving. He died for us. Simply because he loved us and called us his friends.

Look again at what verse 13 says about friends: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." Here we see the extent of the application of his death. Jesus died “for his friends.” You say, “Who are his friends?” Of course, they are the 11 eleven disciples who Jesus speaks about here. But in the context of the gospel of John, they are all who believe. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). We who believe won’t perish, because we are his friends.

You say, “How do I know if I am the friend of Jesus?” Glad you asked. Look at verse 14, "You are my friends if you do what I command you." Here’s the flow. Jesus says, (1) I have loved you (verse 1); and (2) I lay down my life for you (verse 13) ; and now, in verse 14, Jesus says (3) You do what I command (verse 14). This is my point.

3. You do what I command (verse 14).

That is, as friends of Jesus, we obey him. We have seen this over and over in recent weeks:

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15).

"Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me" (John 14:21).

"If anyone loves me, he will keep my word. John 14:24 Whoever does not love me does not keep my words" (John 14:23).

"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love" (John 15:10).

Obedience is the distinguishing mark of one’s love for God. That’s what Jesus says here in verse 14, "You are my friends if you do what I command you."

Now, it’s not the obedience that merits friendship with God. It’s the outgrowth. It’s the proof. We saw this last week, in verse 8. "By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples" (John 15:8). Obedience to Jesus is the demonstration of discipleship. Or, in our text today, obedience to Jesus is the demonstration of friendship.

So again, I ask you, “Is your life characterized by obedience to Jesus? By the way that you live, by the choices that you make, are you proving yourself to be a friend of Jesus?" This is the question that verse 14 demands us to ask ourselves.

We come now to verse 15, "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." In these words, Jesus is saying to his disciples, 

4. I have told you everything (verse 15).

Jesus uses the illustration here of the servant and the master. The master tells the servant what to do. He doesn’t have to say why. The servant doesn’t know what the master is doing while he is working for him. That’s the way it works.

Today, we might think about it as the workers and the management, or the teachers and the administration. The workers are out on the floor, making it all happen. But they often don’t know exactly what management is thinking or planning. The teachers are in the classroom, teaching the students. But they often don’t know exactly what the administration is planning for the next new initiative. I have heard enough testimony from guys in the workforce to know that these things ring true.

Jesus says to his disciples that they aren’t servants, but they are friends, who are in the inner circle. Friends are in the know. Isn’t this a sign of being a true friend? You tell them things, about your family, about your life, about your vacation plans, about your struggles. Jesus has been telling these disciples everything of what’s going on. “Judas will betray me. Peter will deny me. I’m leaving (John 14:2). The Spirit is coming (John 14:16). I will return to take you to myself (John 14:3).”

Today, we may not have Jesus in the flesh to tell us these things, but we do have his Word. The friends of Jesus read it, and they know about how life works in ways that those outside just don’t know. The Psalmist said,

Psalm 119:97-100
Oh how I love your law!
    It is my meditation all the day.
Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies,
    for it is ever with me.
I have more understanding than all my teachers,
    for your testimonies are my meditation.
I understand more than the aged,
    for I keep your precepts.

This is true. The friends of God will read the Bible. They will meditate upon it’s truths. They will love the word. It will give them wisdom and insight into what’s going on in this world.

We know that the Lord is in control of all things. So that when an assassin’s bullet takes the life of Charlie Kirk, we don’t need to fret. we don’t need to retaliate. We trust that what people meant for evil, the Lord will use for good (Genesis 50:20). We know about this in the life of Joseph. We have seen this in the life of Daniel. We saw it in the life of Christ. None of these men suffered outside of the will of God. God designed the suffering for his greater good.

If you watched any part of Charlie Kirk's funeral last week, you know of the good that the Lord is doing through this horrific tragedy. Our nation heard the gospel loud and clear through those who spoke. Not only those who attended, but those who watched online. They saw Erika Kirk model grace and forgiveness toward the shooter, rather than violence. how God can soften a heart.

Furthermore, this tragic has opened a door for others to be more open about their faith. For instance, J. D. Vance, our vice president said, “I always felt a little uncomfortable talking about my faith in public. I have talked more about Jesus Christ in the past two weeks than I have my entire time in public life. And that is an undeniable legacy of the great Charlie Kirk.”

Now, whatever comes of that with J. D. Vance, I have no idea. But such sentiments are coming from the top. Surely, it will filter down into many others who will be more bold to talk about their faith than ever before. We can see the good that the Lord is working through the death of Charlie Kirk. We can understand this because we embrace God's word.

Jesus was telling his disciples that it’s all going to be for the good. I’m leaving (John 14:2). The Spirit is coming (John 14:16). I will return to take you to myself (John 14:3). As friends, they received the inside scoop, and so will we, if we but pick up the Bible and read it. OK, we have to keep moving. Jesus says to his friends: (1) I have loved you (verse 12); (2) I lay down my life for you (verse 13); (3) You do what I command (verse 14); and (4) I have told you everything (verse 15). Then, in verse 16, Jesus says, 

5. I chose you (verse 16).

John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

You can see my point right there in the first sentence: "You did not choose me, but I chose you."

If you work through the gospel of John, it does not look like Jesus chose the disciples. Perhaps you remember in the first chapter, when two of John’s disciples heard him say, “Behold, the Lamb of God” (John 1:36). So, they followed after him. At some point, it was a bit awkward, as Jesus turned and saw them following him, Jesus said to them, “What are you seeking” (John 1:38). They said, “Rabbi, where are you staying?” (John 1:38). Jesus said, “Come and you will see (John 1:39). Then, Andrew went and found Peter and told him, “We have found the Messiah” (John 1:41). So, Andrew brought Peter to Jesus, who said to him, “You are Simon the son of John. You shall be called Cephas” (John 1:42). You don’t get the sense that Jesus chose them. It seems more that they were following after Jesus on their own. Jesus acknowledge it and brought them in.

Yet, here we see Jesus saying, "You did not choose me, but I chose you" (verse 16). But if you read in Luke’s gospel, you get a better perspective:

Luke 6:12-16
In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. And when day came, he called his disciples and chose from them twelve, whom he named apostles: Simon, whom he named Peter, and Andrew his brother, and James and John, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon who was called the Zealot, and Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.

All night Jesus prayed for who his disciples might be. And Jesus says here, "You did not choose me, but I chose you." All of the disciples would have agreed that this is how it went. That Jesus chose them to be one of his friends in the inner circle of disciples, even though they all made steps to follow Jesus.

And truth be told, the choosing of the disciples is just like our salvation. We think that we come of our own accord, when, in actuality, it is God who chooses us for salvation. Paul says this in Ephesians 1.

Ephesians 1:3-5
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

He chooses us for a purpose: “That we should be holy and blameless before him” (Ephesians 1:4). Paul writes that his plan is to conform us to the image of his son (Romans 8:29). Likewise here, God chose his friends for a purpose.

John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

And boy did they bear fruit. And boy did that fruit remain! Their fruit is the church of Jesus Christ, going strong some 2,000 years later! And when things like the assassination of Charlie Kirk happen, it seems as if the church is stronger than ever!

Finally, we come to my last point:

6. So, love one another (verse 17).

This same command was given in verse 12. At the beginning of my message I chose not to focus upon the command, but I do so now. Jesus said,

John 15:17
These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

This is the reaction of friends. They will follow the Lord in love. Is this not what Jesus said in John 13:34-35?

John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Jesus says, "I'm working in you that you will bear fruit. Some of that fruit is loving one another. By this the outsiders will know that you are my disciples." This, then, is how the church will grow.

So, I come back to my illustration in the beginning. We have all of these friends. We are connected online. But are you connected with people in person? Online is helpful to communicate what's going on with people. But it's a sorry imitation of what can happen in person.

Do you have friends? Are you lonely? Are you looking for a friend? Certainly, you can find many of them in the church.

But there is one friend (Jesus), who can be a friend in greater ways than any of us can ever be. He is the one who loved you from the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). He is the one who saw you in your mother's womb (Psalm 139:13, 15). He is the one who has ordained the days for you when as yet, there was not even one of them (Psalm 139:16). His is the one who is protecting and guarding you right now through faith for salvation (1 Peter 1:3-5). He is the one who has his arms all around you. Go to that friend!

This is the friend that the disciples found. This is the friend that can be your friend. How? Through faith, through believing and trusting in him. He is the one who loves you and cares for you and died for you.

This sermon was delivered to Rock Valley Bible Church on September 28, 2025 by Steve Brandon.
For more information see www.rockvalleybiblechurch.org.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/As_the_Deer.

[2] https://hymnary.org/text/man_of_sorrows_what_a_name.