1: By prioritizing prayer
2: By appealing to love over law.
3: By remembering our relationship
4: By covering consequences

Throughout the course of history, there we have long noted men and women who have accomplished great feats, and who have shaped the course of our humanity entirely. People who gave their lives for a cause because they believed it to be true and worthwhile.

By way of introduction, this morning I’d like to introduce you to one such individual

William Wilberforce was born in the year 1759. He is most well known for his lifelong work to abolish the British slave trade. But less well known is the fact that Wilberforce was a committed, evangelical Christian. He grew up in a Christian home and his belief in the forgiveness and reconciliation freely offered by Christ for all people changed him from a young, restless, vain politician into a compassionate, public servant for the common good of all men. Wilberforce labored hard and long for the abolishment of the slave trade through his writings and advocacy. In a speech given in 1789 to the British House of Commons, he said, “You may choose to look the other way, but you can never again say that you did not know. The trade, sir, is a system of unexampled cruelty, a Godless, lawless, merciless system, that violates every principle of justice, humanity, and religion."

Wilberforce was bold to bravely declare at the time an unpopular truth for the purpose of bringing glory to God and good to the people of Gods created world… He gave his life to a cause he believed in and found it all worthwhile in the end, when 3 days before his death he heard that the British had legally banned all slave trade business. Wilberforce was a mediator for the way of peace making in his society, and his faith in Christ fueled all his endeavors. He serves as an imperfect model of how our faith in the forgiving love of Christ can sustain our efforts to reconcile other people to each other.

One of the greatest labors one can pursue is that of peace making. Bringing restoration where relationships have been broken. Truly, no task is more complicated than that of trying to mend broken relationships. Wilberforce spent his life doing so on a societal level, yet sometimes it can take equally as long to do so in between individual people, when there has been hurt, pain, and wrong done. Proverbs 18:19, “A brother offended is more unyielding than a fortified city.” The theme of Wilberforce's work of bringing an end to the slave trade is so similar to what we see in our text today. Where God does not just mend a relationship, but transforms it altogether.

How does the gospel change the way we pursue peace and forgiveness in our Christian relationships?

All of us need instruction, wisdom, and guidance on how to navigate such issues, whether it be broken relationships, conflict in your life, or disagreements with fellow church members. If you have a Bible, please turn to the book of Philemon. If you have one of the church Bibles, it’s on page 1000.

Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,

To Philemon our beloved fellow worker and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me son your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bond servant but more than a bond servant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers fI will be graciously given to you.

Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

What’s the unique contribution of Philemon?

I remember when I was in college in a class on Pauline Epistles; we were discussing forgiveness, unity, Christian fellowship. And in every college class there’s always some arrogant hotshot who wants to show off how smart he is. In this particular case, it was me. I raised my hand and said, “Yeah, but Professor, how does this all work out? We don’t really see that in the Bible.”
Without missing a beat, he replies, “Have you not read Philemon?” He stops the lesson, we read the whole thing, and for the next 20 minutes he talks on how almost everything we see in Philemon can be traced to somewhere else in the Bible. This is Paul demonstrating how the principles he teaches and writes about plays out.
In that moment I learned something about him, myself, and this book of the Bible. (1) There’s a reason he’s the Professor and I am not. (2) I did not know the Bible as well as I thought I did. (3) The book of Philemon is really, really important.

vv. 1-3: The Context of our Characters

Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,
To Philemon our beloved fellow worker and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house:
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

It is necessary to spend a few moments here on this beginning section. Because much of the principles in this book arise from the narrative surrounding the events that were clear to the characters mentioned; but they are not clear to us.

The apostle Paul is mentioned first. For those who may be new to the Bible, the apostle Paul is a significant figure. He is the author of this letter, and before he was a Christian he was a diligent student and advocate of Judaism, which was the historic Jewish traditional religion of the 1st century during Jesus’s time. He aggressively opposed Christianity as often as he could. Jesus Christ Himself converted him on the Damascus road in a fantastic appearance and he became now a preacher and apostle to the Gentle, Greek-speaking world. Per usual, he is in prison for preaching Christ.

Philemon, for whom the letter is named, is the primary recipient, a man who had encountered Paul’s preaching at some point and converted to Christianity. It appears he was wealthy enough to host the church often associated with Colossae in his home, and we know he owned at least one bondservant.
Onesimus is Philemon’s runaway bond servant. He flees Philemon’s service despite his contractual obligation.
Cultural Context: The word for bond servant here had two meanings categorically. One is the idea of a “slave.” The Roman Empire would often enslave soldiers or citizens of conquered nations and sell them to the highest bidder to work until they died. The second was the idea of a “bondservant.” Someone who had voluntarily subscribed themselves to the service of another to attain provision for themselves and their family or to pay off debt. What’s important to note for our understanding here is that the master of a runaway slave had two options: He could punish, or He could pardon. Forgive and forget, move on, let be what was.

Unbeknownst to us on the surface, there is a relational predicament… As mentioned already, Onesimus chooses to run away from his master Philemon. We don’t know why. But we do know at some point he finds the apostle Paul and he becomes a Christian. He hears the gospel and responds and believes in Christ for forgiveness and trusts him as Lord and Savior… But now, what to do about his former relationship with his old master? Onesimus must go back. It’s the law. Philemon will be given the power to decide whether he is punished or pardoned.

How does this relate? You might think about when an employee at a job renounces his work life and leaves with a bad taste. It could be like that. But what's also noteworthy here is that the church meets in Philemon's home. People's lives in the 1st century New Testament were far less compartmentalized than ours. A man’s son was also often his farmhand, apprentice, heir to his property, and so on. Likewise, this church would’ve been a close community and would have been aware of the events that transpired. Perhaps the tension here could be best related by thinking about someone who leaves your church for hurtful reasons. Disputes over petty opinions and preferences win the day and at the end of it all you’re left wondering if it was really all worth it. Regardless of the reasons for its cause or its relatability, Paul here must deal with this situation.

So we encounter these questions in our text today. One, how will Paul convince Philemon to receive Onesimus back? And secondly, why should Philemon receive him back at all? What's essential to note is that He’s not just asking him to forgive. He is also asking him to forget. But more than that… He’s asking him to receive and embrace. Philemon stands as a model for what it looks like to resolve complex situations in a gospel-centered way and how to embrace the beauty of forgiveness… And there is so much to learn, enjoy, and delight in this little letter. Well, here is what we see.

How does the gospel change the way we pursue peace and forgiveness in our Christian relationships?

1: By prioritizing prayer

I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.1 7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. (v. 4-7)

Philemon’s faith, love, and blessedness toward other Christians is the central focus of this section. Philemon was well known as being a spiritual and physical refreshment for many Christians, perhaps those traveling, the apostles, those people who were coming and going for the sake of Christ, knew they could find rest and comfort at his home. Particularly, Paul reminds Philemon that he is in constant prayer for him because of his faith and Christ and is praying for him toward even greater heights of spiritual growth in Christ. Specifically, he mentions two distinct ideas: (1) the love and faith he has for other Christians; hospitality certainly being included in this. Philemon is known for loving and caring for others (2) the sharing of his faith for the full knowledge of every good thing.

In v. 7, he references how these fruits of his life have blessed his own ministry and life. Paul says, “Philemon, I know you to be the kind of person I am about to ask you to be.” The significance of this section here is that Paul puts the gospel and its transforming effect on Philemon in the front and center. Look at the way God has changed you, Philemon. Look at the way he’s transformed you, Philemon, look at the way he’s grown you. This is critical; this is not just some buttering up for this big ask he’s about to make on behalf of Onesimus. But because the gospel and its transforming power is the only way this is going to work. What Paul is going to ask Philemon to do is so counter-cultural in every way and counter-Roman-1st-century common sense. Your slave ran away? You should punish him. He’s your property, how dare he cross you like that! Doesn’t he know who you are? Go on, give him the whip! Only Christian love, gospel-grace, and mercy-filled hearts for the sake of Christ can accomplish such a restoration as the one needed

This section here is instructive on several levels. You know, there are two types of people in churches. There are those who build up. And there are those who tear down. There are people here, who, like Paul is doing, strive and labor that the goodness of God and fruits of the Spirit would continue to grow and bear fruit in the lives of other people. These people are committed to prayer and praying for their fellow believers in Christ. They are lovely and wonderful people. They rejoice in the well being of others you would think they have often forgotten their own trials and tribulations. And then there are those who tear down. They constantly complain, critique, and grumble. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, when God gives them heavenly food they only crave for their earthly wants. They love their contrarian attitude and they are experts in finding faults in others and assuming the worst possible of motives in all decisions made they calculate to be lesser than their own.

Which one are you?

Paul here offers a wonderful example of what it means to be someone who labors for the fruitful Christian life of other people. To believe the best about them. To encourage and remind them of their steadfast faith in Christ even in the midst of their imperfect pursuit of Him. How easy it would have been for Paul here to be so negative, “You know this wouldn’t of happened in the first place if Philemon has just done the Christian thing and not owned any slaves in the first place, and you know, I told him last time I saw him, this isn’t the way and he just kept thinking about the business, and if he had just listened to me then none of this would of happened and we’d never be in this situation.” But Paul chooses to focus on Philemon’s faithfulness in Christ. The priority of Christian love strives and labors and prays toward greater gospel fruitfulness in the lives of all people in our lives, but especially so critical when there is a need for unity in a problematic predicament. Paul vocalizes to Philemon in his letter how he loves him, and you can hear the hint of a fatherly proudness which highlights how he has so much to be thankful for in his prayers because Philemon has been so faithful to so many people. This is a beautiful example of believing and hoping for the best in other people.

The gospel changes completely the way we pursue peace and forgiveness. What if we regularly reminded each other of all the ways that God has been so good, and Christ has been so kind, and how we’ve seen each other grow in Christ and strive for Christ and we make that the focus and that the main truth of the fellow Christian, regardless if we get our way in the situation or not because we have a higher priority in Christian love and forbearance with one another than just merely getting our own way. We must first and foremost do so, like the apostle Paul, in the priority of our prayers. We so often treat prayer as a last resort. What if we made prayer our front-line defense.

How does the gospel change the way we pursue peace and forgiveness in our Christian relationships? By prioritizing prayer, and secondly...

2: By appealing to love over law.

Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. (v. 8-12)

Here we find the answer to our question: How does Christian love change this situation? By appealing to love over law. Paul mentions here could have so easily stood on his authority and demanded a kind of arm-twisting compliance. “I’m an apostle, you’re not, so do what I say.” Paul could have just thrown his weight around It would have certainly accomplished the cause. But ultimately, for the purpose of displaying the power of Christian love, it would’ve been a complete loss. In this particular situation. Of course there are times when Paul uses his authority, of course there are times when we take responsibility for those under our leadership and enforce the rules and the standards of which God has proscribed in His Word. But not always. And not here.

As part of his appeal here, Paul calls himself, “An old man now.” This is the only time in the NT that Paul refers to himself in this way. You can almost just hear the significance behind it. “Philemon, I’m old now… And my retirement plan currently includes being in prison for Jesus. I’m near the end. I’m on the last lap.” You know a few weeks ago some of us got together to watch the Kentucky Derby. They call it the 2 most exciting minutes in racing. Sovereignty won. What was interesting to me was that as the horses, as they near the end of their race, sprint to the finish line. Likewise you might think of Olympic sprinters run the last part of the race the fastest, because they see the prize in their sights. Paul here, nearing the end of his life and ministry, writes this letter, and in a sort of way, one last appeal to love over law, a final shot that testifies to the great truth that unity in the bride of Christ is worth all the words and work we could ever give it. It is always worth striving and fighting and praying for the power of Jesus Christ’s transforming love to change us, to change others, and to restore relationships that have been broken. Fathers, grandfathers, mothers, grandmothers in Christ. How would God have you run on this last lap of yours?

Here in verse 10, we see Paul lays out all his cards. A pure appeal for love over law

I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment.

Earlier, we asked, “Why should Philemon receive Onesimus back?” Firstly, Because he’s not the same Onesimus. He has undergone a transformation from useless to useful; You might notice in your Bible, there is a footnote next to Onesimus’s name. It takes you down to the bottom of the page, It says that “Onesimus” means “useful” in Greek. Paul makes a very intentional and tactful word play on his name to highlight this fact to Philemon: The Onesimus coming back to you is not the same Onesimus that left you. The love of Christ has changed him. Before, he was not useful, now he is useful. Before he was not Onesimus, but now he is truly Onesimus. You know a lot of us can struggle deeply with a pervasive and pesty feeling of not being useful to the Lord. we don’t have much to offer. We walk about with such a keen sense of our own weakness, sinfulness and how it can lead to discouraging and even depressive like thoughts. Dear brothers and sisters, you are useful to the Lord if you are a Christian because the power of his grace has made you to be so.

You don’t need to be a William Wilberforce to be useful to the Lord. You can just be faithful. Our world doesn’t need more mighty heroes. We really need just need more faithful Christians. I’d like to take some time to show you how robust the biblical teaching is on this idea.

How does God make us useful to His service?

The first and probably the most well known…
The first is spiritual gifts (1Cor. 12:4-7, 1 Peter 4:10-11) categorically there are two kinds of gifts: speaking, serving. All of them for the purposes of God in building his church.

An honorable mention is our talents. Our skills, life developments, training, education, experiences that can bring helpful perspective. God desires to use all these things as we seek to be useful to His service. But primarily we possess a series of biblical mandates. we bear one anothers burdens (Gal. 6:4). Coming alongside someone in need of help. We can't carry the full weight, but we can help carry some of them. Encouraging one another, Proverbs 16:24, Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Finally, we have the pursuit of wisdom (Prov. 4:7) the best place to start in the pursuit of wisdom is to just start. sometimes the most helpful person is someone who just is so keenly wise and knows the right thing to do or say and that comes from time spent in Gods wisdom books. We all can be useful to the lord like that in some way as we grow in the biblical wisdom God has given to us in the Scriptures.

2 Timothy 2:20-21… Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. 21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

You can be so useful to the lord. You’re gonna have to choose some different things. Cleanse yourself from dishonorable pursuits, hobbies, and past times. Cleanse yourself with the Scriptures. He who saved you will also be faithful to change you. Praise the Lord for it. He doesn’t have to. God needs nothing from us. But in God’s good graces he is moving all of us from useless to being “Onesimus.”

I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. Paul here continues his appeal. He wants Philemon’s action of receiving Onesimus back to be totally genuine, totally of his own accord. This is how Paul deals with this situation. By persuading, not demanding.

By appealing to love over law. You might be wondering at this point, “Really?” Is that the “answer” to all of it? Consider this.

Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law." Appealing to love over law isn’t some quick fix. The point here is not that this is some answer that fixes all. The point is that the gospel and its effect changes the way we go about these issues. Appealing to love over law, love over rights, love, even over fairness. Jesus said, “A new command I give to you, that you love one another.”

If you’ve noticed in the book as we’ve been reading, you keep seeing the phrase, “In Christ” or a reference of some kind to Christ. (v. 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9). Every single verse except for v. 2 has one. This is really important. It speaks to the reality that outside of the gospel of Christ, no way this happens. Outside the shared understanding that the gospel changes everything, which is pretty exclusive to the church, this doesn’t work. The world has a way of doing things. And at times, those procedures and policies are appropriate and even helpful. But the whole point is that as the church we have the opportunity to show the world something different. Which is that gospel-love is greater than law.

Paul here makes a strong appeal of this nature on behalf of Onesimus. He ties his very own self into it in v. 12. "I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart." He is ready to go down with the success or failure of this appeal to love over law. How does the gospel change the way we pursue peace and forgiveness in our Christian relationships? By prioritizing prayer, and by appealing to love over law. Thirdly,

3: By remembering our relationship

I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bond servant but more than a bond servant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me.

Paul's aim and hope are not merely a fixing of the situation; he is longing for restoration and, this is key, an elevation in the relationship. This is not merely a forgive and forget or a let be what was. This is a complete transformation in the way in which Onesimus and Philemon will fundamentally relate to one another because of Christ. The entire relationship is meant to be different. In Christ, the status of our earthly relationships is entirely secondary to how Christ has transformed them. Onesimus is coming back as a bond servant, but he’s also coming as more than a bond servant. As, “a beloved brother.” This serves as a strong point for Paul’s appeal. Philemon, the same Onesimus who left you isn’t the same Onesimus whom I’m sending back to you. I’ve discipled him, he’s a Christian now, so receive him as you would receive me.

The power of the gospel isn’t that it just saves relationships but that it can totally transform them entirely. The reason we have to love one another isn’t external, it’s spiritual. We are all fellow heirs with Christ Jesus because of his mercy and grace freely given and fully received. So Paul stresses his appeal to love by elevating the nature of their relationship. Philemon, as Christ received you, receive this brother back of your own accord, because he could be more to you than a bondservant. He’s a Christian now. Philemon, forgive this brother from your heart. Remember Galatians 3:27-28, "For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

Paul strongly pleads for it in verse 17 by attaching his own self to the appeal. “If you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive him.”

Make no mistake, Paul is appealing for total forgiveness and complete restoration. But even more so, an elevation in the relationship. “More than a bondservant, but as a beloved brother.”

Let’s clarify forgiveness: And for the sake of time, please forgive my brevity. The idea of Forgiveness, which the Scriptures define as a total release from the obligations of repayment owed by one’s wrongdoing, can be a complex, difficult principle to apply and it should be done so with a multitude of counsel and under the guidance of watchful church elders who love you and want to protect you, especially the more complex the scenario. With that said… Here are some biblical concepts to consider… It’s biblical and loving to overlook an offense, A cross reference for this idea is Proverbs 19:11, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." But It is not biblical to simply bypass clear, unrepentant sin, with this sort of vague notion of forgiveness. That’s not what is happening here in Philemon. As we’ve seen Paul repeatedly stresses is that Philemon should forgive and receive him precisely because He has experienced the transforming grace of God. He has turned from His sin and embraced Christ by faith and is a different person because of it.

Continually availing yourself to unrepentant wrongdoing and sin is not biblical love or forgiveness. It can be really hurtful and harmful to everybody. Yes, love believes and bears and endures all things. Yet, love also rejoices with the truth. You do not have to always love people in the way they want to be loved (repeat x2). Love people the way in which God commands us to love people. It would be wrong in one instance for someone living in unrepentant sin to insist that you bear and endure their sin while they refuse to believe and obey the truth of Scripture. That is not gospel forgiveness. God forgives us precisely because we admit we are sinners and trust in His grace for forgiveness. That’s the gospel and it is a beautiful gospel. Forgiveness can be hard. Don’t make it harder by doing it all by yourself. Allow your church to help you.

1: Prioritizing Prayer
2: Appeal to Love over Law
3: Reminder of Relationship.

So, how does the gospel change the way we pursue peace and forgiveness in our Christian relationships? .

4: By covering consequences

So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.

Paul here makes his final point in his work to advocate for this appeal. Onesimus most likely took some things that didn’t belong to him on his way out. And Paul offers to be a substitute for the cost of the wrongdoing. He chooses to cover the consequences. 1 Peter 4:7, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” What more Christ-like action can we take than to embody the love of Christ by covering each other? The humility here is almost unbelievable. Paul is in prison. He functionally owns nothing. He is literally under the bus. But nonetheless, Paul insists that if the difference between restoration and not is a financial problem… He’ll cover it. Done. For Paul? Easiest deal ever considered. Yup, where do I sign!? You can’t throw me under the bus because I choose to live there. You ever just read some things Paul writes and are like, what is wrong with this dude? Who covers up monetarily someone else theft? “Oh, you stole that. Here, I’ll pay for it.” But he’s not crazy. He is not insane. He is full of sacrificial love. He’s just so full of Jesus’ love for other people and wants to see these brothers reconciled. The truly content know that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.”

A brief comment: I am a teacher by profession. I love the idea of consequences. They are good for students, if done well they can learn very valuable lessons from it. No you need something wrong, little Jimmy, and that’s why you’re off to the office. And you’re going to learn that bad choices hurt and that they are embarrassing. “But wait, I’m sorry.” No, you’re not. But you are about to be. Consequences are good, they are biblical in every respect. The book of Hebrews speaks about how consequences for our sin can train us in holiness and righteousness. But there is also a way in which love covers our consequences. Not the least withstanding that Christ has covered the ultimate consequence of our sin which is death and eternal separation apart from him. Love covers. Who can ever bear the weight of every sin they commit?

The Gospel. Please repeat after me. (1) God, (2) Man, (3) Christ, (4) Response. The reality that there is a God who is real, who did create all things, and has sovereignty ordained His plan to be accomplished. But we in our sin have chosen to be separated from that love by the deliberate choosing of our own wisdom, our own sin and we are responsible for it all. But Christ came and was born of a virgin, lived a perfect life, died a sacrificial death, and rose from the dead and ascended to the right hand of the Father. Far greater than William Wilberforce, Christ has brought together those who once useless and made them useful. You ever just look around in church and wonder, “What in the world is God doing with THESE people? Then you realize you’re standing in the room too. What is God doing with ME, of all people? He’s changing us. Like Philemon and Onesimus, we are to be more than just friends… We’re meant to be family.

Paul here, choosing to be Christlike and covers Onesimus’s consequences, serves the final reason for why Philemon should receive him back. You don’t always have to make people feel the full weight and force of their mistakes. It goes a long way.

Here though he makes a comment that needs some explanation.

...to say nothing of your owing me even your own self.

Does something sound odd about this part? Like Christians talking about owing?
It could be taken as a kind of tongue-and-cheek comment by Paul. I don’t think so. It would be very odd for the apostle Paul, who preached free grace and justification by faith alone apart from works and is suffering in prison for it… He talked about his appeal, Onesimus' transformation, and from bondservant to brother, and now all of a sudden he turns around and is like, “Oh hey, by the way, remember that your relational tab is still open.” That is highly unlikely. Show of hands, who in their time of being a Christian has heard of the concept, “Let Scripture interpret Scripture.” When you come across a phrase in the Scriptures that is perplexing or complicated in some way, or it’s meaning isn’t totally ascertainable for some reason or it seems odd or out place. It often really helps if you can find clearer passages that help understand the unclear ones and it kind of shines a light of insight on. this is not just mere cross reference. This is good, healthy Bible interpretation.

Here is Romans 13:8.

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

Love fulfills the law. Or, to put it another way, “love over law.” Hence the appeal. That text is really clear.

So in light of that espesially clear text is a paraphrase rendition of what’s being said here by Paul that I believe captures the heart in light of that very clear text we just read. “Dear Philemon. I will personally cover all the expenses of Onesimus’s wrongdoing, if that’s what it takes for restoration to take place. This is my signature, I will repay it. However, while you are counting up all that is owed to you and taking stock of your lost inventory… Please be sure to take into account all that you have also been forgiven of… Doing so would repay the debt of love you owe to me, and It would be a refreshment and blessing to my heart if you were to do so. Signed, sincerely, your dear friend Paul, a prisoner for the gospel, which saved your soul.”

Philemon owes him love. We all owe each other love in Christ. It is our command and our obligation to love one another. Philemon, this is the way you can repay it. Receive this brother back, with open arms and a full heart.

How does the gospel change the way we pursue peace and forgiveness in our Christian relationships?

1: By prioritizing Prayer
2: By appealing to love over law.
3: By remembering our relationship
4: By covering consequences.

Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

Paul is so confident. This is a beautiful model of what it means to believe the best about others. I know you’ll do this, and even more than this… Philemon… You’ll do the right thing. It’s who I know you to be. You know it’s a beautiful picture to consider. Onesimus, *knock, knock, knock.* Standing out in the rain with a Holy Spirit-inspired, Pauline letter in his hand. Philemon reads it… And they embrace each other, tears in their eyes, apologies being made, and joy in the church of Jesus because only the gospel could give us the reason for restoration and forgiveness quite like this. It’s the power of an appeal. The power of love over law. It’s the power of the gospel. It’s the power of forgiveness. Let’s pray.

“Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.”