A father must teach his children to ...
1. Get Wisdom (verses 5, 7)
2. Obey Wisdom (verse 4, 6)
3. Love Wisdom (verses 8-9)
A month ago, I preached a Mother’s Day message. This morning, I would like to preach a Father’s Day message. As we begin this morning, I want you to think about your own father. I want you to think about the things that your father taught you. I want you to think about what you learned from your father. I'm aware that all of you are not fathers. But, all of you had a father. Some of you had very good fathers. Some of you had very bad fathers. Perhaps your father died when you were young. Perhaps your father abandoned you. Perhaps you had a step-father. Whether your father was good or bad or somewhere in between, certainly you can remember some of the things that he taught you.
For those of you with good fathers, perhaps you can recall specific times in which he sat you down for a father/son conversation. You may remember when he taught you how to mow the lawn or shave your face or throw a baseball. You remember his example of godliness which taught you what words never could teach. You recall his stability in difficult times, his work ethic, his love for your mother. For those of you who grew up with poor fathers, perhaps you can recall the times he did not sit you down and have a heart-to-heart conversation with you when he should have. You may remember his example of wickedness, which led you to join him in sin. Oh, how you wish you had a better father! For those of you with absent fathers, how devastating it was to you mother when he left. You remember how difficult it was to be in a home without a dad, and how much you needed a father.
Here’s my point: I want you fathers (and future fathers) to realize that you will teach your children something. If you are a good father, you will teach your children. If you are a bad father, you will teach your children. If you are an absent father, you will teach your children. This morning, we will see what a good father must teach his children. We will see them from Proverbs 4. As you are turning there, let me remind you that Proverbs is a book of wisdom, which was written mostly by Solomon. There are a few other authors who wrote some portions of the book. Chapter 30 was written by Agur the son of Jakeh. Chapter 31 was written by King Lemuel. There was also a few short sections from chapter 22 through 24 that were written by an unknown group of wise men, know as "the wise" (see Prov. 22:17 and 24:23). When you do a bit of calculation, you realize that Solomon wrote about than 85% of the entire book of Proverbs (769 of 915 verses).
Proverbs chapter 4 was written by Solomon, the son of David, the King of Israel. It is a part of a larger section, from chapter 1 to chapter 9, which is focused upon how a father (and mother) ought to train his children. Proverbs 1-9 is the divinely inspired, child-rearing manual. There are many, many books written today on raising your children. Many of them are very good. But none of them is better than Proverbs 1-9, because these verses come from the mouth of God! These chapters tell the story of a father pleading with his son. He tells his son what to avoid. He wants his son to avoid things like the wrong crowd (1:8-19), the adulteress woman (5:14), and various harmful practices in this world (6:1-19). He tells his son what he should pursue. He wants his son to pursue things like wisdom (1:20-33), obedience (3:1-27), and faithfulness to his wife (5:15-19). The shear intensity of his pleading is indicated in the number of times that he cries out to "my son" or "my sons." I counted 17 times when Solomon addresses his "son" or his "sons." (1:8, 10, 15; 2:1; 3:1, 11; 4:1, 10, 20; 5:1, 7; 6:1, 3, 20; 7:1, 24; 8:32). Listen to a couple of these instances:
- Prov. 1:8 - "Hear, my son, your father's instruction, And do not forsake your mother's teaching."
- Prov. 1:10 - "My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent."
- Prov. 1:15 - "My son, do not walk in the way with them."
- Prov. 3:1 - "My son, do not forget my teaching."
- Prov. 3:11 - "My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD."
Chapter 4 begins the same way. It sounds as if Solomon was pulling out his blow horn and saying, "My son, listen to me! This is very important." In a very real sense, these words are applicable to all of us, for we are all children.
Proverbs 4:1-9
Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, And give attention that you may gain understanding,
For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction.
When I was a son to my father, Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother,
Then he taught me and said to me, "Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live;
Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; Love her, and she will watch over you.
The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding.
Prize her, and she will exalt you; She will honor you if you embrace her.
She will place on your head a garland of grace; She will present you with a crown of beauty."
The first three verses lead up to the heart of Solomon’s teaching. In verse 1, Solomon is pleading for his son to understand what he is about to say. He says: "Hear it!" "Listen to it!" "Obey it!" "Give attention to it!"
We hear a lot today about ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder. It is the label given to those who are unable to give sustained attention to a task that needs to be done. New disorders are being invented all the time. It used to be just Attention Deficit Disorder. Now, they have added "Hyperactivity." So, there is also Attention Deficit, Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD. In case you do not know, we now have three sub-types of this disorder: (1) Predominantly Inattentive Type (2) Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type (3) Combined Type (which combines the previous two types). Some signs of the inattentive type include: becoming easily distracted by irrelevant sights and sounds; failing to pay attention to details and making careless mistakes; rarely following instructions carefully and completely; losing or forgetting things like toys, or pencils, books, and tools needed for a task. The signs of the hyperactivity and impulsivity type include: feeling restless; often fidgeting with hands or feet; squirming, running, climbing, or leaving a seat in situations where sitting or quiet behavior is expected; blurting out answers before hearing the whole question; having difficulty waiting in line or for a turn. Because everyone shows some of these behaviors at times, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) contains very specific guidelines for determining when they indicate ADHD. The behaviors must appear early in life, before age 7, and continue for at least 6 months. In children, they must be more frequent or severe than in others the same age. Above all, the behaviors must create a real handicap in at least two areas of a person's life, such as school, home, work, or social settings. So someone whose work or friendships are not impaired by these behaviors would not be diagnosed with ADHD. Nor would a child who seems overly active at school but functions well elsewhere.
Did you know there is another type of disorder called, ODD, which stands for Oppositional Defiant Disorder? These children will display a pattern of negativistic, defiant, disobedient and hostile behavior toward authority figures. The child with ODD exhibits a number of symptoms including these: often loses temper; often argues with adults; often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules; often deliberately annoys people; often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior; is often touchy or easily annoyed by others; is often angry and resentful; is often spiteful or vindictive. I read that 30-40% of those who have ADHD also have ODD.
Certainly, there are children, who have difficulty paying attention. Certainly, there are children, who are, by nature, more inclined to hyperactivity. To these types of children, we need to be sensitive. I have seen some of my children exhibit these qualities. I myself exhibit these qualities from time to time. But, these "disorders" ought never to be excuses for allowing sinful behavior to take place in the lives of your children. There have been attention-deficit behavior problems down through the centuries. It's nothing new. Indeed, Solomon requests that his son "give attention" to these words of his. The child that does not pay attention to these words is sinning. To ignore Solomon’s instructions is to invite disaster.
Fathers, you need to take efforts to do all that you can do to help your child pay attention. This may mean at times getting in their face and speaking very seriously to them. This may mean using the rod of discipline. This may mean withholding privileges from your children. This may mean encouraging them when they are doing something well. Do what you can do to help your children take heed to these instructions.
In verse 2, Solomon further builds his case. He says, "For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction." Solomon says that his teaching is sound. It is good. Children are not to abandon these things. These instructions are not to be left outside like a neglected toy. Solomon’s instruction should be heeded, rather than abandoned.
In verse 3, we find out the source of the words that Solomon spoke. He got them from his own father. "When I was a son to my father, tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, then he taught me and said to me, ..." (Prov. 4:3)
My father used to tell me, "Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, when daddy was a little boy, ..." stories. Most often these were told at night, just before we went off to bed. We loved hearing these stories. The stories were good, and of course staying up later was a bonus. Solomon said that there were times when his father, King David, was tucking little Solomon into bed and teaching him these things that he is about to relate to us. When Solomon was talking about "the instruction of a father" in verse 1, he was talking about the things that David taught to him. David’s words contain three things that a father must teach his children. Lets look at the first one:
A father must teach his children to ...
1. Get Wisdom (verses 5, 7)
We find this command several places in these verses. Look at verse 5.
Solomon writes, "Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!" In verse 7, Solomon says, "The
beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get
understanding." There is a resounding theme in these verses. It is expressed by the
word, "get" or "acquire." In the Hebrew text, this word appears 5 times in the space of
2 verses. It is the Hebrew word, 
(qanah), from which "Cain" was named. You remember that Eve said,
"I have gotten a manchild with [the help of] the LORD" (Gen. 4:1). She "acquired" her
son. This word often has ownership connotations. Sometimes, it is translated "to buy or
purchase." That which was bought is often translated, "possessions." The things that
you own.
Now, normally you do not have to do much to teach children to "get" or "acquire." They are normally pretty natural at saying, "mine." They are normally pretty aggressive in hoarding their toys and things so that nobody would touch them. I have witnessed my own children do this from time to time. They believe that their things are their things and they cannot be shared with anybody else. At times, they have hoarded their toys and have refused to let other children play with them. We see their natural sin nature being manifested in their behavior. I have seen this in my children. But with respect to acquiring wisdom, this does not come naturally to them. Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." Fathers, you need to teach them to obtain it.
A child when left to do as he wishes, will only eat snack food. He will never clean his room. He won't take a bath. He will willingly engage in sinful activity, which gets worse and worse. If you are a father of a young child, you need to do everything in your power to teach your children Biblical wisdom. Your homes ought to be little seminaries, where Bible education is constantly going on. When your children are little, give them seminary classes for toddlers. As your children get older, give them seminary classes geared toward elementary-aged schoolchildren. Then, they get middle-school curriculum. When they are in high-school, you feed them high-school appropriate material. There are many, many practical ways in which this can take place. For instance, when our children were very little, we filled the house with singing Bible songs. Young children easily gravitate to music. We found several very simple, picture saturated Bibles, which the children have literally worn out in their use of them. As our children have become older, we have lessened on our singing and have progressed to more of a focus on reading and didactic instructions. We have taken them through several age-appropriate catechisms, which employs the Question/Answer method. Our Bible reading became a bit more intensive. Our children have now reached an age to handle reading through the entire Bible together as a family. We have found that a cassette deck (or CD player) by the side of their bed has done wonders for them. Each of them have one. There is hardly a night that goes by that they are not falling asleep listening to their Bible tapes or CD’s. If they have difficulties in falling asleep, they will often turn the tape over and listen to the other side. It is not unusual for us to be awakened in the middle of the night for some reason. We go to check on our children, only to find their tape playing, because they too were awakened, and put their tape on to help them go to sleep. This week, I was awakened one night at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. I heard a CD going in one of the children's room. This morning, I was up at 6am, and my son had his CD playing.
Some of these CD’s and tapes were purchased. (If you are interested in what we have found useful, I would be more than happy to speak with you at the end of the service). Some of these tapes were home-made. We took a microphone and spoke and sang to make a tape, even allowing them to speak as well. (Our kids equally prefer to hear mommy and daddy’s voice to the professional CD’s.) Their rate of learning with these things is unbelievable. I have seen it before, and I am still amazed at how well the children can memorize these verses. During the school year, our children are involved in an AWANA program, which encourages children to memorize much scripture. Since it stopped for the summer, we are doing HAWANA this year (i.e. Home AWANA). Two and a half weeks ago, I recorded a CD with my children of a catechism called, "The Big Picture Verses." It takes you through a short Biblical theology: It begins with sin and the fall. It continues to describe God’s promise to Abraham and Israel, and how the covenant people failed to remain faithful to the covenant. It anticipates a King coming from the seed of David. It describes the judgment of God, leading His people into exile. It shows how Jesus is the fulfillment of these promises. It anticipates his future reign. It has 45 questions for the children. Each answer is simply a Bible verse, which gives an appropriate answer to the questions. Carissa and SR have been listening to it. They are well on their way to memorizing it. (Hanna, my youngest daughter, has been listening faithfully to a tape that we made for her to learn her songs for our children's Christmas program we did six months ago. So, when I tucked her into bed, she was listening to Away in the Manger). I imagine that in the future, we will be assigning our children books for them to read. We will probably have them memorize large portions of Scripture. I tell you these things, not to say that you have to do things our way. You do not have to have a cassette deck by each of your children’s bed. You do not have to go through the "Big Picture" catechism. I tell you things to show you that we have been active in our efforts to help our children "get wisdom."
Fathers, have you been actively involved in teaching your children to "get wisdom"? Do not simply delegate it to "mom"! You need to be able to say, "Give attention to my words!" You need to be able to say, "I give you sound teaching!" (verse 2) I do not think that it was an accident that the primary metaphor used in Proverbs 1-9 is a father to a son. Certainly, a mother is important. But the emphasis is upon the father’s active role in the Biblical training of his children. Do not think that sending your children to AWANA, or Sunday School, or Youth Group satisfies your responsibility in these areas. All of these things are good things, but you must see them only as a supplement to your training of your children. Fathers, you need to be actively involved in teaching your children! If you are passive in this process, you will teach your children that these things are not important.
For my family, we have begun with an intensive push for our children to learn the content of the Bible. But this is only the first part of what wisdom is. Wisdom is far more than Bible knowledge. Wisdom is more than being able to quote Bible verses or catechism answers. Wisdom comes when you believe the message of the Bible, and embrace it. To believe the message of the Bible, you need to know it first. In the early stage of the development of a child, they need to hear it and know it. This is why David told Solomon that "The beginning of wisdom is to acquire wisdom" (Prov 4:7). I know of a church-based Bible training center that has as its motto, "To love Him, you need to know Him."
Wisdom begins with a fear of the LORD. Proverbs 9:10 says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom." Wisdom begins when you understand how powerful and mighty and holy God is. When you see God as He is, you do not approach him flippantly, saying, "Hey, God, what’s happenin’?" Wisdom begins when you see how sinful and wrath-deserving you are. Wisdom begins when you live in light of that reality and fall on your face before God, pleading His mercy. Wisdom begins by seeing that your only hope in this life is to be reconciled with this God, through faith in Jesus’ work for you on the cross. A proper fear of God will end in embracing the cross, by grace through faith. The Bible says, "By His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God" (1 Cor. 1:30). When you embrace the cross, you are redeemed and forgiven and reconciled to God. Your redemption will give you a love for God that desires to follow Him, trust Him, and obey Him. This is how wisdom works.
The wise person is the one who will remember the sound words of wisdom that have been taught to him, and will apply them because they love and fear God. Suppose you are in a situation where someone is attempting to quarrel with you and provoke you to anger. The wise will remember the Proverb that says "A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention" (Prov. 15:18), and respond in patience. Suppose you have a friend or co-worker tempting you to have a few beers at a fun and exciting party. The wise will remember the Proverb that says, "Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly; At the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper" (Prov. 23:31-32), and will refuse to join the party. The wise will take note of how the lazy worker was fired from his job for constantly being late to work. He has been without a job now for almost a year and facing great financial difficulty. The wise will remember, "How long will you lie down, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? ‘A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest’--And your poverty will come in like a vagabond, and your need like an armed man" (Prov. 9:9-11), and will be a very hard worker.
These are only a few examples of how the wise will remember the words of God and follow them. When you track through Proverbs, you will find many characteristics of wise people. You will find that they are humble, self-controlled, careful in what they say, are able to avoid temptations, respect their parents, are honest, and do not rejoice in evil. That’s why verse 5 says, "Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth." The wise person is the one who encounters life’s situations and remembers what God says and acts appropriately. Put another way, the wise person will be skillful in living. In the time of Moses, when the tabernacle was being built, God gave "skilled" craftsmen to build the tabernacle (Ex. 31:3, 6). These were the ones who could "make artistic designs in God, in silver and in bronze", cut stones, and carve wood (Ex. 31:4-5). God tells Moses that these were "wise" men, who could do these things. Wisdom means, "skillful."
On Friday evening, we had a year-end celebration of a program for the young ladies of our church called, "Keepers at Home." The program encourages the girls to work toward earning badges for various skills that they will find helpful as future wives and mothers. These include Bible reading and memorization, along with many practical homemaking skills (i.e. crochet, embossing, basket weaving, sewing, baking, ...). These are "skills" they are learning to help them be wise mothers and wives someday.
The wise person will be skillful in living. He will be living rightly before God, living rightly before men, and loving the Lord, his God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. The wise person will love his neighbor as himself. Lest you think that your children are too young, let me remind you that "even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right" (Prov. 20:11, NIV).
Wisdom begins with understanding of God and our sin and Jesus’ work. But, it goes further than simply knowing about it. It implies that we believe it and embrace it. Then, it will manifest itself in your life. To the Jew, it was unfathomable that you could be wise (in your head), but foolish in your lifestyle. Which leads me to my next point,
A father must teach his children to ...
2. Obey Wisdom (verse 4, 6)
In verse 4, David told Solomon, "Let your heart hold fast my words." The picture here in verse four is that of a grip. The words you are taught are embraced, held tight, and internalized within your heart. It has been said, "When the heart is willing, the feet are swift." When my son asks, "Dad, can I play on the computer for a little bit?" And I say, "Yes." Do you know what happens? He starts running for the basement door, so that he can go downstairs to where the computer is. "When the heart is willing, the feet are swift." But when I tell my son, "SR, please go and clean your room." Do you know what happens? Each of his feet gain an extra 30 pounds. He has a difficult time even moving them upstairs to his room. This is what David was telling Solomon. Let your heart be right, so that your feet are swift. In other words, when God speaks, listen to Him and obey Him. This is exactly what the next portion of verse 4 says: "Keep my commandments and live." It is a matter of obedience. "Keep my commandments" simply means "obey what you are told!" The wise will listen to the counsel of the LORD. The fool will neglect the counsel of the LORD.
Prov. 12:15, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
Prov. 10:8, "The wise of heart will receive commands, But a babbling fool will be thrown down" (NIV, "come to ruin.") (i.e. because he neglects God’s commands.).
Not only is it a matter ofobedience. It is also a matter of blessing. "Keep my commandments and live." Obedience to God’s commands is a matter of life and death.
Prov. 13:14, "The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn aside from the snares of death."
Prov. 24:14, "... If you find wisdom then there will be a future, And your hope will not be cut off."
The wise have life and happiness and hope for them. The fool will find death and misery and no future. When God gives instructions in His word, He is not some cosmic ogre, who gets a sadistic delight in people obeying Him. It is for your good. It is for your own blessing.
Prov. 9:12, "If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it."
Prov. 19:8, "He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;"
More blessings of obedience are found in verse 6, "Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; Love her, and she will watch over you." You will have a body-guard protecting you. You will have a surveillance camera watching out for danger. These are incredible blessings that are bestowed upon the one who is wise!
But, just as a child does not naturally gain wisdom by himself, so also a child is not naturally obedient. This is where the father’s part comes in. Fathers, it is your duty to train your children to obey the wisdom of the LORD. You first need to get it into them by teaching them wisdom. Then, you need to foster an obedience in them through discipline. If children are under your roof and under your care, you need to see to it that they serve the LORD. You remember what Joshua said in his final address to the nation of Israel who was so prone to disobey the LORD. He said,
"If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD" (Joshua 24:15).
There are two God-ordained means that have been given to us to train our children: (1) Verbal (2) Physical. The former consists of using your mouth to provide council. The latter refers to using a rod to provide correction. The Bible tells fathers to "bring up [your children] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4). "Discipline" is describing the physical means. "Instruction" is describing the verbal means. Proverbs 29:15 says, "The rod and reproof give wisdom" (Prov. 29:15). The rod is used to correct a child. The reproof is used to council a child. I have spoken much about verbally training your children to obey. Let me speak a bit about physically training your children to obey. I want to give you three words of wisdom.
a) Take note of repeated, sinful behavior in your children.
I’ve seen the scenario like this unfold many times: A father notices his
toddler, and says, "Jimmy, do not touch that vase." Then, Jimmy touches the vase, and
the father says, "Jimmy ..." and moves Jimmy to another part of the room. Then, comes
another announcement, "Jimmy, do not touch the piano!" Then, Jimmy touches the piano,
and the father says, "Jimmy ..." and moves Jimmy to yet a third location in the room.
Another announcement, "Jimmy, don’t touch those flowers." Another, "Jimmy ..."
Finally, Jimmy is sitting on the father's lap for a few minutes, after which Jimmy is
left to discover some more forbidden items.
It is foolish for a child to disobey the clear command of a father. A child taught to disobey his father will disobey God. Use the rod to remove the foolishness from the child. "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him" (Prov. 22:15). To deal with some problems, you may find yourself using the rod eight times in one day. But, tomorrow, you will only need to use it three times. Then, the day following, you will need to use it once. Then, Viola! The area of obedience has been resolved. Children are not stupid. They will learn pretty quickly not to touch what they should not touch, if dad's words have consequences.
b) When you use the rod, make it hurt, without doing damage.
I have seen the following take place as well: Dad says, "Jimmy, don’t open the
refrigerator." Jimmy opens the refrigerator. Dad gets up, closes the refrigerator and
says, "Jimmy, don’t open refrigerator and gives the child a spanking with his
hand on the pants through a layer of diapers! Jimmy cries hysterically, because he has
learned that this is supposed to hurt him. So, he plays the game. Next thing you know,
he is after the refrigerator again. Nothing communicates better to your child that you
mean business than pain neurons, which travel from the skin of his bottom to his brain.
I don’t know how it works, but you might tell a child to do something, yet, they
will act like they don’t hear you. But, as soon as they feel a sting on the
bottom, you have their complete attention.
The wisdom of God tells us, "Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from Sheol" (Prov. 23:13-14). On many occasions, I have taken my children up to the bathroom where I have explained to them what they have done wrong, often quoting a Bible passage to them, and telling them why daddy needs to use the rod. When they understand why I must spank them, I apply the rod to their bottom, where I won’t do any permanent damage to them. I’m looking to get those neurons to the brain with a stinging slap. They begin crying, "Dad! That hurt!" I say, "Good. It was supposed to" (as I recall Prov. 23:13, 14). After this, I assure them that I have forgiven them of their wrong and speak to them about how their sins can be wiped away though faith in Jesus. We always pray together for God and hug each other and kiss each other. They leave the bathroom very happy children! (Heb. 12:11).
c) If you threaten punishment for a specific behavior, follow
through.
I’ve seen the following situation a few times as well. Dad says, "Jimmy, you need
to learn to clean your room. If you do not clean your room, I’m going to spank
you." Thirty minutes later, dad goes to see Jimmy’s room and it isn’t
clean. He says, "Jimmy, remember, you need to clean your room, or I am going to spank
you." Another fifteen minutes go by, still no clean room. Another ultimatum, "Jimmy, I
will give you five minutes to clean your room. If not, I’m going to spank you."
Ten minutes go by, and dad ends up helping Jimmy clean the room, but no spanking
comes.
Such a father is teaching his child that his words don’t matter? He is actually teaching him to disobey, because he does not expect his child to obey the first time. But I say, be diligent about disciplining your son, and take heed to what is written in the Proverbs: "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently." (Proverbs 13:24).
A father must teach his children to ...
3. Love Wisdom (verses 8-9)
Listen again to what the Proverbs teaches us about wisdom:
"Prize her (i.e. wisdom), and she will exalt you; She will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on your head a garland of grace; She will present you with a crown of beauty." (Prov. 4:8-9)
In these verses, wisdom is personified as a woman. Solomon is saying that when you prize "Wisdom" and embrace her, you will be exalted, honored, given favor, and made beautiful. There are many verses in the Bible that places a premium on wisdom. I want to read a few from Proverbs 3.
"How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding. For its profit is better than the profit of silver, And its gain than fine gold. She is more precious than jewels; And nothing you desire compares with her (Prov. 3:13-15).
Fathers, I exhort you to love and desire and enjoy wisdom. Prize and embrace wisdom and enjoy the benefits that come with it. You demonstrate your affection for your wife in front of your children by hugging her or kissing her or by speaking kindly of her. Do the same with wisdom. Let your children see and know and be convinced that you love wisdom. Remember, Proverbs 4 contains David’s teachings to Solomon when Solomon was a little boy, "When I was a son to my father (David), tender and the only son in the sign of my mother" (Bathsheba). I am certain that David put before Solomon a love for God and a love for His word and a love for His wisdom. Perhaps Solomon had heard David sing the words of Psalm 19 on his cassette deck, which he kept near his bedside:
The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul; The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the LORD are true; they are righteous altogether.
They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them Thy servant is warned; In keeping them there is great reward (Psalm 19:7-11).
We do not know how Solomon was taught, but we do know that Solomon had learned from his father of the incredible value of wisdom. When Solomon was a little boy, "God appeared to him and said to him, 'Ask what I shall give you.’" (2 Chron. 1:7). We often hear of genies appearing in jars, willing to grant three wishes. Here was Solomon’s chance. So, what did he ask for? He asked for the most valuable thing that he knew of: wisdom. He said, "Give me now wisdom and knowledge, that I may go out and come in before this people; for who can rule this great people of Thine?" (2 Chron. 1:10). So, let me ask you fathers, If a genie came to you and said, "I will grant you three wishes." What would they be? Would you say, "Genie, I want 100 million dollars." Or would you say, "Genie, I want to live in a large house on 100 acres on the Caribbean Sea, with a large sand beach." Or would you say, "Genie, I want the weather there always to be 75 and sunny."
Proverbs 8:11 tells us that "Wisdom is better than jewels" (better than 100 million dollars). Proverbs 8:11 continues, "... And all desirable things cannot compare with her" (including large beach houses with perfect weather). Prov. 16:16, "How much better it is to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver."
Fathers, you will either teach your children to prize and embrace wisdom. Or teach your children to prize silver and gold and jewels above wisdom. Do you know how you will teach these things? You will teach them by example. It has been said that with children, more things are caught than taught. Listen to this poem:
To get his good night kiss he stood beside my chair one night
And raised an eager face. To me a face with love alight
And as I gathered in my arms the son God gave to me,
I thanked the Lord for being good and hoped He'd always be.
His little arms crept 'round my neck and then I heard him say
Four simple words I can't forget. Four words that made me pray.
They turned a mirror on my soul on secrets no one knew.
They startled me, I hear them yet. he said, "I'll be like you."
So, I ask you fathers, Do you love wisdom? Or are there other desirable things, that you love more than wisdom? What will your children learn from you? Will they learn good from you, or will they learn bad? They will learn something from you. As the poem says, "I'll be like you."
This week, our family Bible reading brought us to Ezra 7:10, "For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the LORD, and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel." This is a great model of how to teach children. Ezra's heart was to first study the law (i.e. to "acquire" wisdom). Then, he desired to practice the law (i.e. to "obey" wisdom). Then, he wanted to teach it. Much of his teaching would have been through the example of what he had learned and lived, which would have flowed from his desire and love for the law of the LORD.
As your children observe your passions and desires, do they see you light up when you talk about God’s word? Do they see you love those books that explain God’s word? Do they see you working hard and living a wise life? Do they see you constantly sifting life through the Bible? Or do they see a father who prefers television to his Bible? Do they see a father who would rather invest his summer in pleasure seeking "with the boys" (by golfing or fishing or bowling or hunting) rather than investing it in his own children? Do they see a father who loves the paycheck more than his wife?
As I close my message this morning, I know that some of you might be thinking, "My children are raised and gone. I cannot do anything now." Let me give you a personal testimony of my father. We grew up in a church that didn't value the Bible. As a result, there wasn't a lot of Biblical training when I grew up. However, since I have left the home (about 15 years ago), we have been exposed to churches that esteem the word of God highly. As a result, I have seen my father make great efforts to get wisdom. I have seen him do a great job at obeying wisdom. I have seen him do a great job at loving wisdom. I have learned more from him about these things in the last 15 years since I left the home than I did while I was in the home. So, do not ever think that your opportunity to impact your children is gone. Do not ever think that your pursuit of these things is ever finished. I guarantee you that if you are pursuing these things, you will make an impact on your children (and on others).
Fathers, remember that your father taught you something. You also will teach your children something. Will you teach your children (1) to get wisdom, (2) to obey wisdom, and (3) to love wisdom? Or, will you teach them something else?
This sermon was delivered to Rock Valley Bible Church on
June 15, 2003 by Steve Brandon.
For more information see www.rvbc.cc.